I have three children, and as anyone with more than one child (and probably even those with none) knows, they are all unique. Each of them comes with their own sets of gifts, abilities, and personality. They also have their own challenges, and challenge me uniquely too. My youngest child, 8 year old Jeremiah, is no exception, and in fact seems a little more set apart from others than his older brother and sister. Jeremiah is adorable and has a heart that knows no bounds. He has a zest for life and a love for Jesus. He is affectionate, chivalrous, and bright. He has also given me the biggest run for my money, especially when he was younger. The challenges I faced with him left me exhausted at the end of most days, crying at the end of some, and always wondering just when I would reach the end of my rope.
Early on, Jeremiah failed to grow properly. He was labeled “failure to thrive” (funny, he now weighs more and is nearly as tall as his 10 year old brother) after countless appointments with specialists that could not figure out his problem. As he grew, we noticed other things that just did not seem quite right, at least when compared to his siblings. Jeremiah was delayed in speech and language and his behavior was on many days more than I could bear. He didn’t play. He dumped, he dumped everything—bins of cars, buckets of blocks, whole toy boxes—he never played with what was inside, just dumped them all. He dumped flour and sugar and cereal and pasta. You may be wondering about child locks. This kid was brilliant and by age 2 had figured out nearly all child locks and those he didn’t, he just broke right off. He was an expert climber too. He climbed curtains, into cupboards, and on top of the refrigerator. He could get free of anything, earning him the nickname “Houdini” after escaping the house or his car seat more times than I can count or care to admit. As Jeremiah finally learned to communicate, some of this behavior lessened, but other things continued. He would throw 30 minute tantrums when the Velcro on his shoes wasn’t aligned perfectly. He would scream as if in pain if there was a tag in his shirt. He put everything in his mouth (and still does) long past the age that this was appropriate. He would be sent through the roof by certain noises, unable to have music playing in the car or eat at loud restaurants. He would fall apart for no apparent reason after a little time in a store. I was almost sure he was autistic, but he repeatedly tested not, perhaps because he was so social but I am no expert. Other than some occupational therapy for a few weeks at a private practice that diagnosed him with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), something not recognized by schools or insurance, Jeremiah has received little help for these issues. We have learned to help him cope at home. While he is doing much better in the sensory department (There are still challenges. Does anybody have ideas on how to get him to consistently use silverware?), after six years of speech therapy he continues to struggle with articulation, sentence structure, and pronoun usage. This sets him apart from his peers, and they are beginning to notice. He gets teased often, and comes home from school angry and hurt, throwing his backpack on the floor, melting into a pool of tears. He is different. This week as part of his homework, Jeremiah had to read “The Ugly Duckling,” a familiar fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen. Let me paraphrase: There was a mother duck who had been sitting on her eggs when they began to hatch. Out came beautiful ducklings, covered in soft yellow feathers. One egg did not hatch with the rest. The egg was larger and different looking than the rest. Still, the mother duck sat. Eventually this last egg hatched and what came out was a bird that looked different from the rest. Instead of the soft yellow down, this baby was dull and gray. He was bigger too and had a sound different than the usual “quack.” It didn’t take long for the other ducklings to notice he was different and they started making fun of him. Soon, hurt by all the teasing, the duckling ran away. On his travels he saw some beautiful white birds, majestic with their beautiful pure white feathers and long necks. He admired these gorgeous creatures and wished he could be just like them. One day, he caught his reflection in the water, and what he saw astounded him, he had become a swan! He proudly joined other swans, finding a new family where he belonged. As Jeremiah and I read this story together, a story I had heard and read many times, I was caught by something new, a thought I had never had before. The change didn’t happen to the duckling when he became a swan as so often thought and taught. After all, he had always been a swan. The change happened, the confidence came, when he REALIZED he was a swan. As the story ended, Jeremiah told me that he felt like the ugly duckling. I asked him why. He said, “You know!” and I did, his speech. It makes him feel different, badly about himself. Powerful moments followed as I was able to explain to him that he doesn’t have to wait to become something amazing, he only needs to realize that he is. He is a precious boy, created in the image of the Almighty God, displaying Him in his numerous good qualities, sharing Him with his sweet sprit and warm hugs. Reader, you need not wait to become something amazing either. You already are! You just need to realize it, to take hold of it, to believe it. You are made in the image of God too, uniquely and dearly loved by the Creator of the Universe, gifted to do wonderful things. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV). I am praying for you, that you will come to know in the very depths of your being that you are not an ugly duckling, but a beautiful swan.
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